Writing!
And rewriting.
And rewriting.
And revising once more.
Guess who’s doing that?
Unfortunately, moi.
Sooooooo, would you like to help me? Great! Why don’t you do this for me;
Read the old “Shadow” first chapter
Read the new “Shadow” first chapter
Comment and tell me what I did right and wrong!
I would seriously appreciate the help guys. I love you!!
Old Shadow Chapter
Chapter 1
I Get Out of Making Dinner
Ombre
It’s crazy how fast your life can change forever. I learned this the same way I learn everything else: the hard way. It started with me hiding under a trash can, hoping they wouldn’t think to look down. I had been minding my own business when the Shadow Hunters had decided to spot me and go on a wild me chase.
Splashing caused my head to jerk up and suddenly there was a gun hanging in front of my face, so close I could see the sheen on the barrel. A man was holding the gun, panting.
“This way!” He shouted. He turned and continued to run down the alley, totally unaware I was right there. I chuckled softly as the pounding footsteps faded away.
Nothing like a Shadow Hunter to fail to search the shadows for quarry.
I crawled out from under the trashcan and stood inside the alley a moment, waiting to see if they all had followed the man. I pushed my sopping hair out of my face as the rain pelted down in harsh sheets of grey.
Okay, okay, maybe I should explain to you why I’m being hunted down by men with guns. No, I didn’t steal anything, or kill anybody. I’m… I’m part Shadow.
Why am I getting hunted down? Jeez, don’t be so stupid! Catch the flow! The Shadow Hunters don’t like anyone with powers, thus I’m getting ‘hunted’. Capeesh? Good.
I went over my options, stepping into the pounding rain. Go home, tease those stupid Hunters, or play in the rain… Although playing in the rain sounded wonderful, I have pride issues, so no. I wanted to tease the dumb Hunters, but when I thought of putting myself in more danger, Grace’s concerned gaze flickered in my mind.
I sighed. Yeah, I was gonna save myself from a lecture. I decided on just going home. I slid around the side of the building and slowly snuck off back home.
“Gra-ace!” I shouted through the house, kicking off my muddy boots by the back door and heading into the livingroom. “I’m ho-ome!” I walked into the the living room and plopped my wet self on the couch. I began to comb out my hair, waiting for Grace.
Suddenly tired footsteps thudded on the stairs. Grace trudged into the room. Her green eyes had bags under them and her long, brown hair was frizzy and ruffled. She looked more distraught than she had in awhile.
She waved a crumpled sheet of paper angrily in the air. “You’re quite lucky you know, not having to go to school! Darn this math!” She threw the paper down on the ground and plopped wearily down beside me. “What’re you doing?”
“Nothing, actually.” I turned to her. “I don’t see why you don’t just, like, drop out of school like I’ve been suggesting. I, personally,” I put a hand to my chest, “have plenty of fun and a ‘life’ without it.”
“Ombre, you try to get killed sixty percent of your day, and you’re an angry loner.”
“Touche.”
“And, unlike you,” Grace jabbed a finger into my chest, “I would like to go to college and get a decent job. Somebody’s gotta pay for you, and I don’t see the government, or anyone else for that matter, offering to take care of you!”
“Yeah, the government loves me.” I grinned sarcastically. Grace gave me a withering look. “And, yay! College! Woooooooh!” I waved my hands in mock excitement. “More school!” I don’t get to go to school. Remember the whole Shadow thing? Yeah. I ain’t complaining though!
“Oh, shut ap.” Grace pushed me over playfully.
I chuckled. “So, what’s for dinner, college queen?”
“Whatever you make.” Grace smirked.
“WHAT?!” I shrilled in disbelief. “No! Big no! I don’t cook! And I’m soaking wet!!” I can’t cook. At all. Like, I tried to make Ramen Noodles, and you don’t even want to know what happened to the noodles. Over cooked and flavorless. Imagine a bunch of dead, bloated worms wrapped up in each other. Pretty much what it looked like.
“And that’s my fault, how?” Grace asked smugly, getting up and retrieving her paper. I stammered for an answer, but she just laughed, shaking her head, and went back upstairs to finish her math homework.
“If we both die due to food poisoning, it’s your fault!” I yelled up the stairs. She didn’t reply and I cursed softly under my breath. I raided the freezer and fridge and came up with some chicken nuggets.
I shrugged, threw ‘em on a pan, tossed a couple potatoes into the oven, and retreated upstairs to take a shower. I turned on the water to heat up and glanced in the mirror. I looked… Generally like a freak.
I have grey skin, long, curly black hair, and long nails. My skin looks like ash, honestly. But, even scarier than my skin color and my large canine teeth, are probably my eyes. They are orange. And they might or might not glow faintly in the dark, not unlike a cat’s.
Alright, so, being a Shadow can be really fun sometimes. Each Shadow has different powers (or so I’ve been told), and I have the power to… do stuff. You’ll just have to wait and see. Now, I don’t know if other Shadows look like me or not, because I don’t know anyone with powers.
Or anyone besides Grace, really.
Being a Shadow was fun, but if I ever wanted to have a normal life (who needs that?), go to school (bleh school), or simply live a danger free life (that’s boring), I can’t. I hardly get out of the house except to tease some patrolling hunters, and I’ve quickly learned to become sneaky and quiet because of it.
Gotta love Shadow Hunters, a very high ranking government group that is intent on capturing people with powers. They say they ‘contain’ them, but in truth they experiment on them and keep them in cages like exotic fish species.
They’re stupid enough- thank goodness for us- not to actually use some of them to help track us down. See, Shadows (or at least I and one other can) sense what a person is. It’s like taking a deep breath and smelling them.
Races are harder to pick up, but types are really easy. I swear there’s something about Grace but I just can’t– My thoughts were cut off by the water turning cold, Grace’s way of telling me ‘Ombre! Your shower time is up!’.
I hopped out of the shower and quickly dressed, trotting back downstairs while drying my hair with a towel. To my surprise (and delight) I found the table set with food. Chicken nuggets, baked potatoes, strawberries, fries (somehow I missed them…), and hot cocoa.
“I thought you weren’t makin’ dinner.” I teased lightly, popping a strawberry in my mouth and sitting down across from Grace.
Grace shrugged. “I wanted to eat something this century… And something that wouldn’t poison me.”
I laughed and we began to eat dinner, not talking about anything of any importance.
“I have an exam tomorrow.” Grace yawned after we had cleaned up. “Please don’t do anything stupid tomorrow.”
“Define stupid.”
She gave me another withering look and I shifted under her stern gaze, suddenly feeling like a bad puppy. “Don’t get caught, killed, chased by Shadow Hunters, or scare any little children.”
“Hey, that last comment ain’t cool!”
“Don’t even try. Promise?” She gave me a look.
“Okay, okay, fine. Promise.” I muttered. She clearly didn’t believe me but grinned, nodded, and bounded up the stairs. I traced figure eights on the table. “Maybe.”
New Shadow Chapter
Chapter 1
I Get Out Of Making Dinner
My day had been going great. Heck, my week had been going great. I had gotten some ice-cream, caught a couple mice, won a fight or two, and even managed to binge watch my favorite show. My week suddenly turned when I dived under a trashcan, hoping they wouldn’t think to look down. I had been minding my own business when the Shadow Hunters decided to spot me and go on a wild moi chase.
I grumbled as I shimmied under the trashcan and through an oily puddle. I jerked my head up as splashing caught my attention, and all of a sudden there was a gun in my face. The nose was so close I could see the sheen on the barrel. A man was holding the gun loosely at his side, panting heavily.
“This way!” He shouted, before turning and running the rest of the way down the alley, totally unaware I was right there. I laughed as the pounding footsteps faded away.
Nothing like a Shadow Hunter to fail to search the shadows for quarry.
I crawled out from under the trashcan and stood crouched for a moment, listening to see if they all had followed the guy. I pushed my sopping curls out of my face as the rain pelted down.
Okay, okay, yeah, you’re probably demanding an explanation for why in the worlds I am being chased by men with guns. I didn’t kill anyone. Or steal anything. I’m… (I’m trust you with this, so you tell anyone and I will find you). I’m part Shadow.
Don’t give me that look! Don’t be so stupid! Catch the flow! The Shadow Hunters don’t like anyone with powers, thus I’m getting ‘hunted’. And my appearance doesn’t make it particularly easy to blend in. Capeesh? No? Fantastic, I’m not re-explaining myself!
I went over my options in my head, stepping out into the harsh rain. Go home, back and tease those stupid Hunters, play in the rain… Although playing in the rain sounded wonderful, and it was wet and grey enough I wouldn’t be exposed, I has some pride issues. I wanted to tease the Hunters, but when I thought of putting myself in more danger, Grace’s concerned gaze flickered in my head.
I sighed. Yeah, I was gonna save myself from a looooong lecture. I decided on just going home. I slid around the side of the building and slowly snuck off back home.
“Gra-ace!” I shouted through the house, kicking off my muddy boots unceremoniously by the back door and heading into the living room. “I’m ho-ome!” I sauntered over to the couch and plopped my wet self on it. I combed my tangled curls with one hand, waiting for Grace.
Tired footsteps suddenly slid down the stairs. Grace trudged into the room, looking defeated. Her green eyes had bags under them and her long, brown hair was a mess.
Grace waved a crumpled sheet of paper angrily in the air. “You’re quite lucky you know, not having to go to school! Screw this math!” She threw the paper angrily to the ground but it just kinda fluttered. She plopped down wearily beside me. “What are you up to this time?”
“Nothing, actually.” I turned to her. “I don’t see why you don’t, like, drop out of school, like a certain moi has been suggesting. I, personally,” I put a hand on my chest, “have plenty of fun and a ‘life’ without it.”
“Ombre.” She gave me a deadpan look. “You try to get yourself killed sixty percent of your day and you’re an angry loner.”
“Touché.”
“And, unlike you,” Grace jabbed a finger into my chest, “I would like to go to college and get a decent job. And I like social interaction. Somebody’s gotta pay for you, and I don’t see the government, nor anyone else for that matter, offering to take care of you.”
“Permanently or otherwise? Because for the first the government would love to offer that up!” I gave her a shark grin. Grace returned my grin with a withering look. I ignored it. “And yaaaaaaay. College. Woooooooh.” I waved my hands in mock excitement. “More school!”
I don’t get to go to school. For obvious reasons. And I’m happy about it.
“Oh, shat ap.” Grace pushed me playfully.
I chuckled. “What’s for dinner, college queen?” I pushed her back.
“Whatever you make.” Grace smirked.
Cue background music: Bum, bum, buuuuuuuuuum.
“WHAT?!” I shrilled in disbelief. “No! Big no! I don’t cook. And look at me!” I frantically gestured to myself. “I’m soaking wet!”
I can’t cook. At all. Like, I tried to make Ramen Noodles once. Imagine a bunch of bloated worms in a happily tangled bunch, covered in black spots. Delicious, right?
“And that’s my fault, how?” Grace asked smugly, getting up and snatching her paper off the carpet. I stammered for an answer but she just laughed, shaking her head, and went back upstairs to finish her math homework.
“IF WE BOTH DIE DUE TO FOOD POISONING IT’S YOUR FAULT!” I shouted up the stairs. She didn’t reply. I cursed. I raided the freezer and the fridge and came up with a grand total of a half bag of freezer burn chicken nuggets that were shaped like dinosaurs.
I shrugged, thew ‘em on a pan, tossed a couple potatoes in the oven (ignored the slam they made against the back of the oven), and retreated upstairs to take a shower.
I turned on the water and as it heated up I admired myself in the mirror. I looked like a freak, but, hey, I looked like a well-fit freak.
I have grey skin, long, curly black hair, and long nails. I look like I’ve been grey-scaled. Even scarier than my ash colored skin, though, even scarier than my vampire like canine teeth, are my eyes. They are bright orange. And… and they may or may not glow in the dark like a cat’s.
Anyways, so being a Shadow can be really fun sometimes. Each Shadow has different powers (or so I’ve been told by a very reliable source), and I have the power to do… stuff… You’ll have to wait and see. If you can wait around that long.
Now, I don’t know if other Shadows like me or not because I don’t anyone with powers.
Or anyone besides Grace, really.
Being a Shadow is fun, but if I ever wanted to have a normal life (who needs that?), go to school (blech, school), or simply live a danger free life (booooooring), I can’t. I hardly get out of the house except to mess with some of the cats around the block, or to go to the park, where Hunters are forbidden. I’ve become quite stealthy because of it.
But you gotta love the Shadow Hunters. High ranking government group intent on capturing people with powers. They say they ‘contain’ them, but they actually experiment on them and keep them in cages like exotic fish species. (How do I know? Grace told me. And she’d know.)
They’re stupid enough- thank goodness for a certain moi– not to actually use us meta-humans to track down other meta-humans. See, Shadows (or at least I and one other can) sense what a person is. It’s like taking a deep breath and smelling them.
Yes, smelling their essence.
No, I don’t go around sniffing people, I’m not a freak!
Races- like Korean or whatever- are harder to pick up, but types of meta-humans are real’ easy. I swear there’s something about Grace, but I just can’t—
My musing was cut off my the water turning ice cold, Grace’s cruel way of telling me ‘Ombre! Your shower time is up!’.
I hopped out of the shower, shook off like a dog, and quickly threw on some clothes. I trotted back downstairs, flicking my head so my long hair threw droplets of water everywhere.
To my surprise (and general delight) I found the table set with food. Chicken nuggets, baked potatoes, strawberries, fries (where’d they come from?), and hot cocoa. Chocolat chaud. Just like the French drink for breakfast.
“I thought you weren’t makin’ dinner,” I snarked, popping a strawberry in my mouth and sitting down across from Grace.
She shrugged. “I wanted to eat something this century. Something that wouldn’t kill me.”
I laughed and we began to eat dinner, screaming about nothing of importance. We quickly finished and cleaned up (Grace cleaned up, I lounged around).
“I have an exam tomorrow.” Grace yawned. “Please don’t do anything particularly stupid tomorrow.”
“Define ‘stupid’.”
She gave me a withering look and I shifted under her stern gaze, suddenly feeling like a bad puppy. “Don’t get caught, killed, chased by Shadow Hunters, or scare any little kids.”
“That’s not even cool!”
“Don’t even try, promise?” She gave me a look.
“Yeah, yeah, promise.” I mumbled. She clearly didn’t believe me, but grinned, nodded, and bounded up the stairs. I trace figure eights on the table with my fingertip. “Maybe.”
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